How To Deal With The Feeling Of Disappointment

It’s that weird time of year in LA when the weather is super chilly in the morning, kinda warm and nice in the afternoon, and a winter storm at night. Ok fine I’m being dramatic LOL, but you get the idea. It definitely feels good to be back in West Hollywood though, and I absolutely love it. A break from the west coast was much needed, and it was nice to see my east coast peeps back in new york. 

Last week I didn’t post because of the elections, and I knew regardless of the outcome, things would get a little crazy – so it was the perfect time to take a little bit of a social media break. 2020 has been such a crazy year, amirite?

In my latest post I shared with you 30 journal prompts – and I was SO amazed at the feedback I received. It truly means alot to me when you babes reach out. Trust me – we as bloggers need that! 

Before we get into it, let me share with you today’s outfit deets. Everything you see me in is menswear. Y’all already know that I prefer mens sweatpants, t-shirts and hoodies. I’m not sure why, but their clothing just seems to have better quality. So weird, but I’m not complaining!

Since it’s “winter” in Cali, you’ll find me in outfits like these for the next few months. I work from home, so its super important to dress practical and be comfortable. 

You can shop this outfit when you follow me on the liketoknowit app – search “nkmstyling” and shop this exact look ; )

 

Ok, now that we covered the style deets, let’s talk about one of the things I’ve been struggling with lately – the feeling of disappointment. I mean….gimmie a second! Oh yes henny, it’s real out here in these streets! As I continue to go through more experiences, the more I realize that disappointment is a running theme in my life, and although I’m not happy to admit it, I fully recognize that it exists. 

Quick fact: one thing to know about me – I am someone who does my absolute BEST to be there and take care of others – whether that’s giving a smile to a complete stranger, dropping off tea and soup to a sick friend, or doing a random act of kindness to brighten someone’s day. It’s just who I am.

Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not like this with everybody LOL – but it is part of who I am.  The reality is however, is that I end up falling into a certain type of pattern. I end up feeling super disappointed when the person that I’m giving my love and kindness to, ends up not returning it back, AND on top of that, they seem to do everything in their power to make me feel disposable. Like, really bish? It’s like I never even mattered. That part tho! There is nothing that makes me more angry, hurt and upset than someone who I treated really well, turn around and make me feel like trash. Ughh, I hate saying this out loud…cuz I KNOW I’m not trash, but I have FELT that way at times. To me, that’s one of the worst human emotions we can feel, and I’ve felt it alot. 

So how do I deal with this feeling? I simply allow myself to go through it, then tell myself its ok. Journaling helps A LOT. Not everyone is going to disappoint me, and I’m very aware of that. I’m also aware that I should never change who I am just because I’ve come across a few bad people along the way. Now, am I a bit more guarded and careful with people than I used to be? – Absolutely. But I do my best to not let that get in the way of forming new relationships and friendships. It’s all about balance. So, recognizing these emotions helps me control myself and my feelings. In all honestly, I hate to admit that I even get dissapointed by people! I’m not sure why but I get anxiety just thinking about it. It’s like, “eww, why is this person ruining my day?”  But i mean, always remember, it’s ok to feel whatever you want to feel. It’s what makes you HUMAN.

If you ever are struggling with any negative thoughts, take a moment to simply address it. Don’t bury it, because when you do that, you’re only finding a temporary solution to the problem. 

Next time, try these simple steps:

  1. Recognize it – “ok, I feel upset. In this moment this is how I feel, and it’s ok.”
  2. Talk or write about it – journal, call a friend, talk to a therapist.
  3. Forgive the person – oooo this one is HARD, because more often than not – we ain’t gonna hear that apology. For me, this is the hardest step because I feel unsettled and disposable. But you have to forgive the person so that you can move on. 
  4. Go and do something nice for yourself! – why? because you matter, and your feelings matter. And damnit, we all deserve something special when we’re feeling down. Embrace this. 
  5. Bonus tip – play Cardi B “Be Careful” and you’ll feel like a newborn Queen again!

I hope some of you can relate to this, and if you do, I’m here for you in every step of the way. Take care of yourself, love yourself, be kind to yourself, and get rid of any sort of limiting beliefs.

Thank you for stopping by today Stylists, I appreciate you for taking the time to hang. Be sure to follow me on the liketoknowit app, and I’ll see you here next week.

Sending love & light,

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